On February 11th, 2001 I was sexually assaulted (not raped) while i was passed out with alcohol poisoning and almost dead. I guess i should tell the whole story so you understand why it is i still consider this rape. I met George on a Friday night. I was staying over at a friends house for the weekend and he was a friend of the family. I introduced myself and was friendly with him so he wouldn't feel uncomfortable being around someone he didnt know. I guess you could say i went out of my way to be nice to him. That was my first mistake. Well, Friday night went by and along came Saturday night. My friend Katie and I wanted to go see a movie but before we knew it, George showed up with three full bottles of liqour he'd gotten from his grandparents' house. Being seventeen and in a house full of teens, it was decided to stay home and drink. I can't say that I was against it, but it wasn't what I had wanted to do. But I really didn't care so I said 'oh well' and went on with the events to follow. We were all in the garage drinking and we were drinking pretty fast. I don't remember drinking as much as the doctors say i did, but I hadn't eaten the whole day and had taking an aspirin for a headache I had. So i was careless as well. the last thing I remember is being in the garage with everyone and talking. After that I couldn't tell you what went on.

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At about three in the morning i woke up in shock and unaware of my surroundings. I heard a voice asking my name and if i could tell her what happened. I started to cry because I was so scared. I didn't talk for about an hour. After listening to what was going on around me and taking it all in I spoke to the nurse. I told her my name and where i had been and that i had no clue what had happened. She told me that the police had found me in a car with a guy at a park. He was on top of me and my shirt and pants were down. They said i had vomited all over his car, him, and myself and that i was seizuring when they saw me. Which is why they called EMS and arrested him. They didn't know my name because i didnt have any identification on me so they questioned him about where we had been drinking and he took them there. My friend Katie told me that she gave them my purse and my moms number as well as everyone elses number who they might need. so thats how they put my name to my face and contacted my family. There are so many things about that event that scare me and make me crazy. Even being at the hospital and going through the rape kit and the medication. It was all so overwhelming that i found it easy to stay quiet and just do what i was told to do. In myeyes that was best since i had already messed up so much. I hurt my mom and my sister and my entire family. I lost friends and I lost a part of myself. I lost a part of my memory. That's what hurts the most. Not knowing exactly what happened, not knowing what horrible things he did to me, thinking what he could have done if the police hadn't been on time. All those things haunt me day in and day out. I lost my boyfriend because of him. And I lost my faith in myself, in my decisions and in my heart. So much went wrong because of that night, and i feel raped of so many things. Although i was not physically raped, i was raped of other things which I just named to you.

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Now it is June and I have gone on to other steps in my life. At first i felt that i was always going to be stuck in those two days of my life. i didnt press charges because i wanted to forget everything and i felt that he would not be punished as i wanted him to be so i let it go. Although i regret that now. I am graduating high school in one week and I am going away to college. There's a new guy in my life and he's been so understanding. We're still just friends and getting to know eachother, but just knowing that we can talk about this helps me so much more. For a long time i didnt talk about it and now that i can i need him. So i'm happy to have people that care.

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I know that my story was different from most, and that it may not comply to actually being raped, but hopefully my story will be read by others in my situation, because i want people like me to know that they are not alone in this. I also want people to learn from this and be careful, be alert, and be aware that anything is possible. From the worst of things to the best of things, life always takes its toll on us whether it be good or bad. I hope that this helps anyone who needs it.